Disappointment for Many Young People This Year as First Holy Communions Are Cancelled For Now, But How Much Do You Remember About Your Communion Day

On Monday morning while travelling to a Doctor’s appointment W.L.R.fm’s Deise Today presented by Damien Tiernan I listened to a woman talk about the money she had spent for her Daughter’s First Holy Communion Day which I gather was to have been over the weekend that passed only for the day not to happen (for now) because of the Covid-19 pandemic.

As you would expect on such a programme there was a lot of feedback from listeners to the piece and a great deal of them were against the amounts of money that the woman had put aside for her daughters first communion day.

While I would have agreed with some of the feedback on the piece into the show, there was some of what was said that might be a little harsh. I cant but believe that when it comes to the sacraments in any of the Christian churches, I think that when it comes to receiving them it should be down to the person receiving them and not up to those that are making the call for them. Maybe for example people should not be christened as a baby as what happens in the Catholic Church and it should not happen till a person in older and able to make the decision for themselves. After all Jesus the man that all Catholic’s are supposed to believe in was not baptised until he was about 30 years old. Yes I know that that was a different era and Jesus was raised and preached as a Jew, but hey as the old saying goes “what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander”.

But as things stand Catholic’s in the main don’t get the say when it comes to the majority of the sacraments, they are automatically baptised and therefore through attending a Catholic ethos school have to make their first confession, first Holy Communion and their Confirmation. After that when it comes to the other sacraments, Marriage or Holy Orders is for them to decide and barring they are seriously sick and unable to make the call for them so too is it up to a person if they want to receive the Sacrament of the Sick.

Back to the radio programme on Monday I would have disagreed with those that were giving out about the money that the woman talking to Damien Tiernan or any other parent spends on their child’s Communion or Confirmation. It is none of their business what anyone spends or does after a child/young person does later in the day.

The whole discussion put me thinking to the time that I made my First Holy Communion back in 1981.

Thirty Nine Years ago today (now – Saint) Pope John Paul II was moving through Saint Peter’s Square at the Vatican, Wednesday being the day that the Pope traditionally meets and blesses those that turn up to hear him speak. One of the large numbers in attendance was A young Turkish man named Mehmet Ali Agca (I had to check his name) shot and wounded him critically the Pope. This was at a time long before social media and news began to break in Ireland of what had happened that afternoon. It was after getting home from school that I heard what had happened on a “News Flash” on RTE Television.

I remember later that evening going to the shop in Touraneena, over a mile from my home and talking to the three spinster sister’s that ran it – Bridget the older of the three, Betty the younger and Margaret O’Keeffe who were all religious women.

Many would have considered them to be “contrary” or “somewhat difficult” women to get on with, but truth be known, I always got on with them. I remember Bridget was in the shop that evening when I called. She knew that I was making my Communion on May 24 and I can remember her telling me that if the Pope was to die as a result of getting shot, all First Holy Communions planned would have to be called off.

Maybe it was her way of getting me to pray and I don’t remember praying as she suggested that I and the rest of the class should, but the Pope did not die and the Communion Day went ahead as planned.

I was to make my First Confession on the Friday evening before hand, but something had been planned for that evening meaning that I could not attend with the rest of my class. There was no problem with my teacher Sheila Phelan, the Principal Joe Devoy or by the priest saying mass Fr. Seamus O’Dowd. It was agreed that Fr. O’Dowd would be in the church the Saturday evening before my Communion Day. I haven’t a clue what I told me, maybe I made myself out to be someone capable of starting World War III given the chance, but I do remember Fr. O’Dowd before I left the Confession Box telling me that he hoped that I would have a good day the following day. So much for believing that the Priest is not supposed to know who they are listening to, something I learned was the case later in life when I say a priest facing a different direction to the penitent.

On the day it’s self I remember some photo’s been taken at home before leaving for the church in my suit. I remember on getting to the church my Aunt Ann walked with me to the sacristy where we as a class was meeting before walking to the front door of the church and walking up the aisle with Fr. O’Dowd and taking our places.

There were twelve of us in the class and we were to take the front seat on either side of the church. We walked in two’s from the sacristy. I was in the last two to walk, walking alongside Alison Queally. The first two in the line were to take the inside positions on the seat on the side they walked on meaning that as I was the last I was on the outside. This was something carefully thought out by my teacher Sheila Phelan as at the time I had to wear steal callipers meaning that it would have been difficult for me to get in and out of the seat at the time had I to sit further in. I remember I sat beside Phelim Power who was to carry with him the first reading that I was to read and to hand it to me when we took our seats. I did not need the sheet of paper glued onto a piece of cardboard as I had the reading off by heart, but I was told not to take things for granted and was to have the reading with me as I stood up in front of the congregation and was told that I was to be seen to read it as I spoke.

After mass we exited the church the opposite way we entered it. I was to be in the first two walking out behind the Altar Servers. There was some photo’s taken outside the sacristy door, but can’t remember a group one getting taken. After that we were free to go our separate ways.

We as a family went to my Aunt’s house where she put on a dinner for the family. Also invited were Father O’Dowd and my first teacher in School Mary White or Mary Walsh as she had since become. There was to tables set, one in the sitting room and one in the kitchen. The men, Fr. O’Dowd and Mary Walsh were told to go to the sitting room. I was told to go with them. The rest had their dinner in the kitchen.

Afterwards it was back to the village and a call to the O’Keeffe Sisters in their shop for them to see me and of course to tell me how well I looked in my suit. (Why do people think they have to do this, it never really has washed with me anyway).

From there it was onto the District Hospital in Dungarvan, a place I was known to most of the staff there though my Aunt Joan who worked in the Kitchen there. But it was not to see the staff I went to, it was to see my Grandmother, my mother’s mother who at the time was battling cancer. She would died a few weeks later. I was her oldest grandson and I know that she would have loved to been in Touraneena on the day but it was not to be, so the obvious thing to do was to go and see her.

After the taking of a few photo’s with my grandmother in her bed, some of the staff learned that I had called in and was in my suit and was called down to the kitchen to meet some of the staff.

A big part of communion day for most is the envelope and what is inside the card in it. I remember what I got in 1981 when I made my First Holy Communion, eighty three pounds, ten and a half pennies. Some younger people might find it funny to learn that there was such a thing as a half penny. They existed up to the mid 1980’s when they were taken out of circulation.

For me in 1981 £83-10-1/2p was a big sum of money. These days many making their First Holy Communion the equivalent or more is often found in Euro in one card.

This is something that I found out some years ago when working in the school in Touraneena. In the days leading up to First Holy Communion Day Fr. Connie Kelleher who died earlier this year pulled the class aside as they were playing in the yard at break time. He told them that he wanted to hear no talk of money when it came to their Communion either before it or after it. He told them that he had a sister that was a nun and she worked in the missions and knew many poor families. He warned them that if there was talk of money he would take it from them and give it to his sister to do with it as she wished.

On the day of the communion I was talking to Fr. Connie at the church door. The children making their communion were to walk up the aisle in front of them and take their seat. He asked me was there any talk of money over the past few days. I told him if there was I heard nothing and little was getting past me. We agreed that there was one in the class that might blab if asked about money so he was to be asked how much he had got. The money was never going to be taken from them but the threat of it worked wonders. I went inside the door and began to ask the class if they were ready to walk up and take their place. They told me they were.

I asked one or two other questions before bringing up the subject of money asking one of the boys how much he had made. He told me he could not tell me. I asked why and he told me how Fr. Connie was going to take the money if he heard anyone talk about it.

I told him that if he would not hear if he told me, but he said he knew that Fr. Connie was outside the door and had too much to lose. Even after telling him that Fr. Connie had to go to the sacristy for something he forgot he was not for budging.

Many Children would have looked forward to their First Holy Communion this May only for events outside of anyone’s control to leave them disappointed for now.

I like to pride myself on having a good memory and wonder in 2059 how many of those that make their First Holy Communion (hopefully for them in the autumn) will remember the day. No doubt many will but will maybe remember the fact there was a Covid-19 pandemic in 2020 as a big event, just as I remember the shooting of Pope John Paul II 39 years ago today, 11 days before I was to make my First Holy Communion.