On Monday
morning while travelling to a Doctor’s appointment W.L.R.fm’s Deise Today
presented by Damien Tiernan I listened to a woman talk about the money she had
spent for her Daughter’s First Holy Communion Day which I gather was to have
been over the weekend that passed only for the day not to happen (for now)
because of the Covid-19 pandemic.
As you would
expect on such a programme there was a lot of feedback from listeners to the piece
and a great deal of them were against the amounts of money that the woman had
put aside for her daughters first communion day.
While I would
have agreed with some of the feedback on the piece into the show, there was
some of what was said that might be a little harsh. I cant but believe that
when it comes to the sacraments in any of the Christian churches, I think that
when it comes to receiving them it should be down to the person receiving them
and not up to those that are making the call for them. Maybe for example people
should not be christened as a baby as what happens in the Catholic Church and
it should not happen till a person in older and able to make the decision for themselves.
After all Jesus the man that all Catholic’s are supposed to believe in was not
baptised until he was about 30 years old. Yes I know that that was a different
era and Jesus was raised and preached as a Jew, but hey as the old saying goes “what’s
good for the goose should be good for the gander”.
But as things
stand Catholic’s in the main don’t get the say when it comes to the majority of
the sacraments, they are automatically baptised and therefore through attending
a Catholic ethos school have to make their first confession, first Holy
Communion and their Confirmation. After that when it comes to the other
sacraments, Marriage or Holy Orders is for them to decide and barring they are
seriously sick and unable to make the call for them so too is it up to a person
if they want to receive the Sacrament of the Sick.
Back to the
radio programme on Monday I would have disagreed with those that were giving
out about the money that the woman talking to Damien Tiernan or any other
parent spends on their child’s Communion or Confirmation. It is none of their
business what anyone spends or does after a child/young person does later in
the day.
The whole
discussion put me thinking to the time that I made my First Holy Communion back
in 1981.
Thirty Nine Years
ago today (now – Saint) Pope John Paul II was moving through Saint Peter’s
Square at the Vatican, Wednesday being the day that the Pope traditionally
meets and blesses those that turn up to hear him speak. One of the large
numbers in attendance was A young
Turkish man named Mehmet Ali Agca (I had to check his name) shot and wounded
him critically the Pope. This was at a time long before social media and news
began to break in Ireland of what had happened that afternoon. It was after
getting home from school that I heard what had happened on a “News Flash” on
RTE Television.
I remember later that evening going to the shop in
Touraneena, over a mile from my home and talking to the three spinster sister’s
that ran it – Bridget the older of the three, Betty the younger and Margaret O’Keeffe
who were all religious women.
Many would have considered them to be “contrary” or “somewhat
difficult” women to get on with, but truth be known, I always got on with them.
I remember Bridget was in the shop that evening when I called. She knew that I
was making my Communion on May 24 and I can remember her telling me that if the
Pope was to die as a result of getting shot, all First Holy Communions planned
would have to be called off.
Maybe it was her way of getting me to pray and I don’t remember
praying as she suggested that I and the rest of the class should, but the Pope
did not die and the Communion Day went ahead as planned.
I was to make my First Confession on the Friday evening
before hand, but something had been planned for that evening meaning that I
could not attend with the rest of my class. There was no problem with my
teacher Sheila Phelan, the Principal Joe Devoy or by the priest saying mass Fr.
Seamus O’Dowd. It was agreed that Fr. O’Dowd would be in the church the
Saturday evening before my Communion Day. I haven’t a clue what I told me,
maybe I made myself out to be someone capable of starting World War III given
the chance, but I do remember Fr. O’Dowd before I left the Confession Box
telling me that he hoped that I would have a good day the following day. So
much for believing that the Priest is not supposed to know who they are
listening to, something I learned was the case later in life when I say a
priest facing a different direction to the penitent.
On the day it’s self I remember some photo’s been taken at
home before leaving for the church in my suit. I remember on getting to the
church my Aunt Ann walked with me to the sacristy where we as a class was
meeting before walking to the front door of the church and walking up the aisle
with Fr. O’Dowd and taking our places.
There were twelve of us in the class and we were to take the
front seat on either side of the church. We walked in two’s from the sacristy.
I was in the last two to walk, walking alongside Alison Queally. The first two
in the line were to take the inside positions on the seat on the side they
walked on meaning that as I was the last I was on the outside. This was
something carefully thought out by my teacher Sheila Phelan as at the time I
had to wear steal callipers meaning that it would have been difficult for me to
get in and out of the seat at the time had I to sit further in. I remember I
sat beside Phelim Power who was to carry with him the first reading that I was
to read and to hand it to me when we took our seats. I did not need the sheet
of paper glued onto a piece of cardboard as I had the reading off by heart, but
I was told not to take things for granted and was to have the reading with me
as I stood up in front of the congregation and was told that I was to be seen
to read it as I spoke.
After mass we exited the church the opposite way we entered
it. I was to be in the first two walking out behind the Altar Servers. There was
some photo’s taken outside the sacristy door, but can’t remember a group one
getting taken. After that we were free to go our separate ways.
We as a family went to my Aunt’s house where she put on a
dinner for the family. Also invited were Father O’Dowd and my first teacher in
School Mary White or Mary Walsh as she had since become. There was to tables
set, one in the sitting room and one in the kitchen. The men, Fr. O’Dowd and
Mary Walsh were told to go to the sitting room. I was told to go with them. The
rest had their dinner in the kitchen.
Afterwards it was back to the village and a call to the O’Keeffe
Sisters in their shop for them to see me and of course to tell me how well I
looked in my suit. (Why do people think they have to do this, it never really
has washed with me anyway).
From there it was onto the District Hospital in Dungarvan, a
place I was known to most of the staff there though my Aunt Joan who worked in
the Kitchen there. But it was not to see the staff I went to, it was to see my
Grandmother, my mother’s mother who at the time was battling cancer. She would
died a few weeks later. I was her oldest grandson and I know that she would
have loved to been in Touraneena on the day but it was not to be, so the
obvious thing to do was to go and see her.
After the taking of a few photo’s with my grandmother in her
bed, some of the staff learned that I had called in and was in my suit and was
called down to the kitchen to meet some of the staff.
A big part of communion day for most is the envelope and what
is inside the card in it. I remember what I got in 1981 when I made my First
Holy Communion, eighty three pounds, ten and a half pennies. Some younger
people might find it funny to learn that there was such a thing as a half
penny. They existed up to the mid 1980’s when they were taken out of
circulation.
For me in 1981 £83-10-1/2p was a big sum of money. These days
many making their First Holy Communion the equivalent or more is often found in
Euro in one card.
This is something that I found out some years ago when
working in the school in Touraneena. In the days leading up to First Holy
Communion Day Fr. Connie Kelleher who died earlier this year pulled the class
aside as they were playing in the yard at break time. He told them that he
wanted to hear no talk of money when it came to their Communion either before
it or after it. He told them that he had a sister that was a nun and she worked
in the missions and knew many poor families. He warned them that if there was
talk of money he would take it from them and give it to his sister to do with
it as she wished.
On the day of the communion I was talking to Fr. Connie at
the church door. The children making their communion were to walk up the aisle
in front of them and take their seat. He asked me was there any talk of money
over the past few days. I told him if there was I heard nothing and little was
getting past me. We agreed that there was one in the class that might blab if
asked about money so he was to be asked how much he had got. The money was
never going to be taken from them but the threat of it worked wonders. I went
inside the door and began to ask the class if they were ready to walk up and
take their place. They told me they were.
I asked one or two other questions before bringing up the
subject of money asking one of the boys how much he had made. He told me he
could not tell me. I asked why and he told me how Fr. Connie was going to take
the money if he heard anyone talk about it.
I told him that if he would not hear if he told me, but he
said he knew that Fr. Connie was outside the door and had too much to lose.
Even after telling him that Fr. Connie had to go to the sacristy for something
he forgot he was not for budging.
Many Children would have looked forward to their First Holy
Communion this May only for events outside of anyone’s control to leave them
disappointed for now.
I like to pride myself on having a good memory and wonder in
2059 how many of those that make their First Holy Communion (hopefully for them
in the autumn) will remember the day. No doubt many will but will maybe
remember the fact there was a Covid-19 pandemic in 2020 as a big event, just as
I remember the shooting of Pope John Paul II 39 years ago today, 11 days before
I was to make my First Holy Communion.
